A friend sent me the link to the following video. It would be funny if it weren’t so true.
President Obama’s huge drop in popularity is clearly evident in a plethora of new bumper stickers found across the country. A few of these are shown below:
For those of you that would like a laugh:
Steve Bridges as “President Obama” – WRCOG, July 2010
Apparently, President Obama was quite offended by that. So, to show I’m an equal opportunity purveyor of satire, here is Mr. Bridges as President G.W. Bush:
I trust you all got a chuckle out of these.
I knew he reminded me of somebody famous….
The one on the left is Walter, Jeff Dunham’s famous dummy. The one on the right is Obama’s.]]>
The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) Washington, DC May 3, 2011 – The Obama Administration is urging Congress and the Senate to pass sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans: The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA). President Obama said he will sign it as soon as it hits his desk. The AWNAA is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society”, said California Senator Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers simply because they have some idea of what they are doing. We are legalizing another protected class of Americans.”
In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement “warehouse’ stores” (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (a whopping 83%).
Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million “middle man” positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most inept employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires. Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”
“As a Non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them” said Ken Cox, who lost his position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan due to his inability to remember “righty tightey, lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real good for people like me”, Cox added.
With the passage of this bill, Cox and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): “As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”
OK, I admit it. This is an updated, 2011 version of a nice piece of political satire that originally made the rounds back in the late 90s. I don’t know the name of the original author. If I did, I’d give credit. Kind of hits home, doesn’t it?
-It is better to be a warrior in the garden than a gardener in war–Japanese Proverb]]>
If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you’re not a racist, you’ll have to vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you’re not an idiot.]]>
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age he applied to where he had always dreamed of working, a West Texas Sheriff’s Department.
After a big mess of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview.
The Chief Deputy says, “You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good. But we have what you call an ‘attitude suitability test’ that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don’t let anyone carry our badge, Son.”
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief says, “Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six ACLU lawyers, six Democrat Senators, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists and a rabbit.”
“Why the rabbit?”
“Great attitude,” says the Chief Deputy. “When can you start?”
Again, I can’t take credit for this… but its sentiment sure resonates through me.]]>
I met a fairy today that would grant me one wish.
“I want to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that!”
“Fine,” I said, “Then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses!”
“You crafty bastard,” said the fairy.
I can’t take credit for it, but I sure do echo the sentiment behind it.]]>
Excerpts of classic movies with a modern theme. Trademarks and copyrights belong to their respective owners. Enjoy!
First, I can’t take credit for this, and it came out awhile ago. Also, due to some rough language, it’s not safe for work or kids, so be forewarned. This will definitely piss you off, but it will make you laugh, too. I especially like the subtle image of the tennis racket on the bench.